I have a friend named Nino Onin. At first glance it doesn’t seem as if there’s anything odd about that; however, a closer look will reveal that if you read his name backwards, it’s still Nino Onin, the same as if you were to read it forwards. As unusual as that is, the reason I wanted to tell you about Nino is not only the fun fact about his name but also how the word “backwards” has impacted him in such calamitous, and may I say, hilarious ways throughout his life. Occasionally he would even unexpectedly interject something in a conversation we were having that was backwards related. While talking about food the other day he stopped me mid-sentence and said:
“Did you know that when you’re stressed you eat ice cream, chocolate, and sweets because stressed spelled backwards is desserts?”
Because he’s such a good friend I feel guilty about divulging some of these incidents, but my unbridled compulsion to make you laugh far supersedes any resistance I have to sharing them with you.
The dictionary defines the word “backwards” as:
– Someone relatively slow in mental or emotional or physical development. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Nino was and still is incredibly bright and physically gifted.
The dictionary also describes the word as:
Doing something backwards or doing it the opposite way to the usual way. This, on the other hand, rings true, considering the experiences he’s endured related to the word “backwards.”
His parents described him as:
– Being somewhat backwards; meaning he was a little shy. Their description, coming from a place of love, was as understated a portrayal of Nino as possible. He wasn’t just shy… he was so painfully shy that he would invariably end up in the most unbelievably disastrous situations possible, and they all seemed to revolve around something backwards. – This following story is an example of what I’m talking about:
We were at a Jr. High School swimming and diving competition, and Nino, wanting to impress an attractive girl from the other school, decided to try a backwards flip from the diving board – something he’d never attempted before. Although I advised him against it I couldn’t dissuade him not to, and when he leapt off he didn’t put enough distance between himself and the diving board, and his bathing suit got caught on the edge of the board, leaving him hanging, upside down, backwards (there’s that word again), with the other end of his suit tangled around his ankles, and his butt exposed for all to see. When he finally wiggled free of his suit he plunged into the pool, and as he climbed out with one hand over his frontside and the other over his backside, the crowd around the pool were stunned into complete silence. The judges, who I believe were feeling his embarrassment, each responded by giving him a 10 for his performance, which so ignited the crowd that they stood up, turned their backs to Nino, and gave him a standing ovation by loudly clapping their hands against their asses.
This was the kind of thing that happened to Nino all the time, and for some reason they always seemed in some way to be related to the word “backwards.” If I were superstitious I’d say that, somehow, someone put a curse on Nino the day he was born, but I’m not superstitious, or at least I wasn’t until the day the following incident took place…and this, my friends, is without question, the crème de la crème of them all.
We were at our High School prom, and Nino was standing in the back of the room, hiding behind as many guys as possible, hoping no one would ask him to dance, when the most attractive girl in school walked up to him to request a dance. He didn’t notice her until she was standing directly in front of him and was so startled that he fell backwards, stepped on the cuff of our teacher Mr. Scanlon’s pants, knocked him face-first onto the floor, and Nino’s foot on the teacher’s cuff caused the pants to tear straight up the back, exposing Mr. Scanlon’s underwear. At the time I remember thinking, “this is the kind of thing that could only happen to Nino,” as the crowd gasped and then erupted into hilarious laughter – not over the fact that Mr. Scanlon’s underwear was showing, but because the words printed across the back read:
“THIS OBJECT IS NOT AS BIG AS IT LOOKS.”
An interesting aside is that Nino is now married to the same girl he tried to impress at the swim meet and who almost asked him to dance at the prom. He met her years later when he accidentally put his car in reverse and went backwards, crashing into her car, which is the only time the word “backwards” resulted in something positive for him. How’s that for irony? What makes it even more interesting is that her name is Lisa Asil – read backwards it’s Lisa Asil, the same as if you were to read it forwards. I guess you could say that the word “backwards” has allowed Nino and Lisa to move “forwards” in the most beautiful way.
From a personal point of view I have to admit that, dammit I’m mad, because I wish I could end this blog by telling you that if you read the word “backwards” backwards, it would read “backwards”, the same as if you were you to read it forwards, but unfortunately, that’s not the case – its “sdrawkcab,” which makes no sense at all. On the other hand, while pondering this disappointing fact I realized that “dammit I’m mad” read backwards is “dammit I’m mad,” the same as if you were to read it forwards. If you don’t believe me check it out.
josephf14 
Fun! Is this a redo?
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